Yet Another Disappearance

Well, I did it again. Another long hiatus with absence of typage. All bad on my part.

A lot of things have happened since my last post. Well, at least I think so. I don’t know if my inability to recall is attributed to by amount of content or my lack of good memory. Oh, well.

This past week was the annual Faith Bible Church youth camp. It was hosted by the San Francisco church and was nothing less than a blessing. Since last year’s camp, I’ve sort of, how you say, felt the Lord’s call to be a part of the leadership. I didn’t exactly hear a thunderous, momentous, or blaring roar, but I did indeed feel something. Lingering and persistent it was, too. I was being pulled. I was being nudged. When I made it to the first leader’s training session before camp, it was almost magnetic. It felt like I belonged.

There was no way that I’d be ready for everything that happened between June 29 and July 3. There aren’t Bible studies, Discipleship classes, or leaders’ meetings that would have prepared me for everything that happened in the duration of those five days.

Before camp, I was set on trying to be a leader. I was set on trying to be a good example. I was already leading a Bible study and thought that it would be easy. I already knew what it felt like to be depended upon. I knew of the responsibility accompanying the task. These things I already knew. Upon the first leader’s meeting at camp after the first day at 7 in the morning, I realized that it wasn’t about these things at all. One idea more central than those already mentioned had been buried. This past week, it was dug back up.

I did not experience how to be a cabin leader. I did not experience a greater sense of responsibility. I did not experience how to lead and co-lead daily devotions with my cabin mates. I did not experience the stage while playing bass for worship team.

I experienced what it really was to serve.

I had a sense of it, but never have I experienced it to this extent. Leading is not about leading. Leading is about serving. Leading is not about delegating. Leading is about being used. Leading is not about yourself. Leading is about the Lord.

For a week, I saw God work. For a week, I saw His Spirit move in these people, guiding them in the way that only he could. I saw hearts opened and dry eyes made teary. To be used by God is a privilege–no; it was a blessing. I saw hearts change. I saw people contrite and at His mercy. I saw God’s power break down walls. And, it was beautiful. For a week, I struggled with my brothers and sisters. It was amazing. As my boy Paul puts it,

Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.

– Galatians 1:10 (NIV)

It’s about succumbing to the King of Kings in every aspect of your life. It’s about wholly giving yourself up in speech, in love, and in purity–sexually, spiritually, and worshipfully.

It’s not about you. It’s not about me. It’s about Who you serve.

P.S. Cassie and I are still pure.