I’ve noticed that, lately, I’ve been straying away from blogging. I’m not only talking about setting aside time to sit in my cushy black leather chair and tap away at the plastic keyboard, rocking away whenever I hit small mental bump. Even the initial cognition to write hasn’t been there. Mind you, this just happened moments before the first sentence of this entry.
I’ve been getting a bit too goal-oriented in this blog. I have nothing against goals; they allow progress and success. It’s just that, I began to associate this blog with work. I’m proud of what I write. I like what I write and try to be as honest as possible. This expressive transparency is important to me; the fact that I can use this thing as a medium to write my thoughts comforts me. I can speak and show what I’m feeling–and, I often do–but I find a certain peace when writing.
What was happening was, whenever I’d think about this blog, I’d think about something to write for “Say WORD,” “Searching For,” or some big event to jot about. Some days, it’s there and is ready to fire out from my fingertips. Some days, there’s no ammunition. Most days, it’s like that.
The original reason why I started a blog was to practice me writing. There was a library course that was required for freshmen to take in the first year over here at CSU East Bay. I found a lot of enjoyment in it and wanted to do more of it. I just wanted to write. If you look through entries at the beginning of this blog, you’d see that a lot of it is nonsensical. I’d describe what it like to wake up. I’d describe nature. I’d describe what it felt like to scrape out eye boogers and start off my day.
Later, I started to write things that would matter to other people. If it wasn’t important, then I wouldn’t write about it. Candid entries like my initial ones disappeared.
I’m not saying that I’ll go back to writing stuff like that–however much I do miss being able to describe like that. But, I’ll go back to writing more candid stuff about my days.
We just got back from Seattle. Expect pictures in the next one. 
One thing I’ve noticed since my migration from Blogger to WordPress is this nifty “Top Searches” feature, where it shows the terms by which people find one’s blog. Amongst one-word searches, people type in questions and find this blog. More questions have popped up there in the past, but I’ll start with this one.
I am not a Bible scholar. I am not that well-read into Bible commentaries. I won’t have the answer for every question. But, none of these things should prevent me from being the Lord’s servant.
Also, I’m thinking that I won’t have to do this everyday, so it just gives me something else to write about.
Anyway, here is a question that popped up.
Can Filipinos say that God is on their side?
(Originally, “can filipino today say that god is in there side?”)
There is one thing, rather Person, that puts God on “one’s side,” and He is Jesus. Christ is the one thing that separates the Christian from the world. He is that distinguishing mark. He is our justification. If God does not see Him in you or He is not in you, then you’ve got a problem. The Bible says,
8For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9not by works, so that no one can boast.
– Ephesians 2:8-9 (NIV)
This grace that has been graciously given by God is Christ. God does not define his children by their works. God does not save according to merit. Likewise, you cannot earn God’s favor. Don’t worry about the other stuff. Don’t get stuck on immediate problems. It is so difficult to get past what you see. When drowning, the blue abyss is in your face. As Christians, we sometimes get stuck on those things, though. We’re so far ahead in our minds, so ready to do all of these things for the Lord when, in actuality, we ourselves aren’t even sure of what God wants.
Don’t focus on those things. Christ prompts that rejuvenation, that change. In order for you to change, stop doing it yourself because it is not going to get you anywhere. If you think going to church on Sunday saves you, just stop. If you think praying certain prayers saves you, just stop. Please, stop thinking this way.
18For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, 19but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect.
– 1 Peter 1:18-19 (NIV)
Another things is the inclusion of Filipinos in the question. With everything that has been said already, I will say that if Filipinos are Christians–true Christ-followers, that is–then yes, God is on their side–rather, the Filipino is on God’s side, which is a better way to phrase it because God doesn’t change, and that include “sides.” He just is, and it’s his side, not ours.
While watching the Tour de France on the Versus channel, this commercial came up. It reminded me of a central theme of faith and thought that I’d share this morning. Don’t worry, you’ll be getting less typing from me this time.
Minus the expletive in the beginning, I totally agree.
Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.
– 1 Corinthians 9:24-27 (NIV)
Don’t give into the world. Keep training. Keeping living.
This ain’t a math test.
I try to be deep in my “Say WORD” and “Thought of the Day” segments. Whenever I write, I always look for ways to make reading a bit more involved. This morning, though, I’ve got nothing. After last night’s prayer meeting, a passage was set in my heart. When it comes to the Lord, one doesn’t have to dress up his word and make it any more than it already is. Yes, the Lord deserves the best of our abilities, but we shouldn’t limit ourselves to what we are comfortable with. People do their things in different ways, but God does it better–the best way, in fact.
So, consider this a simple word of encouragement from the Lord. This is in my “About Me,” as well.
Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said,
“Never will I leave you;
never will I forsake you.”So we say with confidence,
“The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.
What can man do to me?”– Hebrews 13:5-6 (NIV)
A lot of stuff is going on in the world, especially during this time. Families are drowning in debt. People are suffocating in financial worry. Pockets are being sown shorter. For those who are suffering–I’m not just talking about financial, but in every other way–it is so hard to get past what you see. Kids are going hungry. Arguments get bigger. Futures are taken away. But, even through it all, God is still God.
That is a great assurance we have as his children. If we truly believe God’s very own word, then we ought to live it. Our faith is an action word, not just a moral belief that we live passively. God does provide–financially, physically, and in every other way. Jobs, spouses, friendships–nothing is beyond his scope. Because God can, we ought to live like He can, not just say it and passively watch. The faith begins in you.
Well, yesterday we finally made that trip over to the vet. We had to put her in a pet taxi because she wouldn’t be cooperative otherwise. It was so difficult to listen to her meows knowing that it would be the last time I’d hear them.
Twenty years–that’s how old she was. I grew up with this cat. Literally, I’ve known her my whole life. I totally agree with Cesar Milan who has said that, as humans, we should not treat animals like humans. Although we love to display love and affection, the act prevents our humanity of being that boss to the animals. That’s totally true. However, I say that things that one loves do not need to be living in order to be significant in one’s life.
Twenty years–that’s my infancy, childhood, adolescence, and a step into adulthood. The other day, I went through a big cardboard box full of pictures determined to find a few photos of Selena and myself. I remember seeing pictures of when I was maybe 3 and I was grasping her in my hand. When I was about 5, I once fell asleep and she curled up on my head. I wasn’t able to find either, but I’m sure they’re around this house someplace. I did, though, find some with Nikolai and Kirstiana.
I won’t lie: I did cry. My dad and I were in the same room with Selena as the vet prepped for the procedure. I didn’t want to let go of the pet taxi. As soon as Selena and I saw each other, she stopped meowing. I didn’t want to do it anymore. But, it had to be done.
Twenty years–and then she was gone. The procedure was quick. The situation was beyond me. When I think of death, I think about “buried and in the ground.” Here, she was moving one moment and then, in the next, was not. She didn’t struggle. She didn’t feel pain. I couldn’t stop the tears from coming out.
She was the subject of my personal essay. I was just reading through it and realize just how hard I was trying as a writer. The piece is severely overwritten, but fitting for a young writer just trying to impress Universtity readers.
While I’m drowning in work, Selena is lying on my bed, composed and sound, wrapped like a little grey and white fur-ball, despite the turmoil just beyond the door. I look at her in despair and she looks up and meets my eyes with an unparalleled coolness that’s calming on contact.
“Chill, Winston. Chill.”
[...]
Looking back at everything up to now in my life, I realize that I couldn’t have survived it all without that little feline that I love ever so much. Unfortunately, Selena is getting old now and slowly succumbing to senility. She’s gradually coming to terms with her tender age of seventy-six cat years and needs to rest. She drags under the pounds that she has gained from the Meow Mix and sleeps most of the day. In fleeting life, her green eyes seek comfort from her docility. She now looks at me with despair and I meet her eyes with an unparalleled repose,
“Aww. Relax, Selena. It’ll be okay.”
Thank you, Selena, for the memories. I’ll never forget how small you were when I first held you; you fit in my baby socks. Thank you for the shed fur all over my clothes. Thank you for waiting for us to get back home from long vacations. Thank you for being our rodent solution, inside and outside. Thank you for the leftovers of those rodents; you’d always eat the heads–the best parts–first, but thank you for sharing. Thank you for being there through tears and joy.
Thank you. I love you.
-
- With Kirstiana
-
- Keeping Nikolai company.
Good-bye.
Well, I did it again. Another long hiatus with absence of typage. All bad on my part.
A lot of things have happened since my last post. Well, at least I think so. I don’t know if my inability to recall is attributed to by amount of content or my lack of good memory. Oh, well.
This past week was the annual Faith Bible Church youth camp. It was hosted by the San Francisco church and was nothing less than a blessing. Since last year’s camp, I’ve sort of, how you say, felt the Lord’s call to be a part of the leadership. I didn’t exactly hear a thunderous, momentous, or blaring roar, but I did indeed feel something. Lingering and persistent it was, too. I was being pulled. I was being nudged. When I made it to the first leader’s training session before camp, it was almost magnetic. It felt like I belonged.
There was no way that I’d be ready for everything that happened between June 29 and July 3. There aren’t Bible studies, Discipleship classes, or leaders’ meetings that would have prepared me for everything that happened in the duration of those five days.
Before camp, I was set on trying to be a leader. I was set on trying to be a good example. I was already leading a Bible study and thought that it would be easy. I already knew what it felt like to be depended upon. I knew of the responsibility accompanying the task. These things I already knew. Upon the first leader’s meeting at camp after the first day at 7 in the morning, I realized that it wasn’t about these things at all. One idea more central than those already mentioned had been buried. This past week, it was dug back up.
I did not experience how to be a cabin leader. I did not experience a greater sense of responsibility. I did not experience how to lead and co-lead daily devotions with my cabin mates. I did not experience the stage while playing bass for worship team.
I experienced what it really was to serve.
I had a sense of it, but never have I experienced it to this extent. Leading is not about leading. Leading is about serving. Leading is not about delegating. Leading is about being used. Leading is not about yourself. Leading is about the Lord.
For a week, I saw God work. For a week, I saw His Spirit move in these people, guiding them in the way that only he could. I saw hearts opened and dry eyes made teary. To be used by God is a privilege–no; it was a blessing. I saw hearts change. I saw people contrite and at His mercy. I saw God’s power break down walls. And, it was beautiful. For a week, I struggled with my brothers and sisters. It was amazing. As my boy Paul puts it,
Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.
– Galatians 1:10 (NIV)
It’s about succumbing to the King of Kings in every aspect of your life. It’s about wholly giving yourself up in speech, in love, and in purity–sexually, spiritually, and worshipfully.
It’s not about you. It’s not about me. It’s about Who you serve.
P.S. Cassie and I are still pure. 
Honestly, I’m not one to use the fact that I have many activities as an excuse. After church services, we have food out for guests and members of the church and we get our luncheon on after God’s Word has been spread. The food servers, a team of my aunties and uncles in the Lord, pack everyone’s plate with food. After half of the food on my styrofoam platform has been finished, I find myself full. But, I hate wasting my food.
Whatever’s on my plate, I do my best to finish it.
A lot of stuff has been on my mind, though. With final exams coming up, I find my cognitive functions becoming enthralled by my textbooks. And, well, I’m feeling a little less clever than I’d like. This thought seldom flashes in my mind, especially when doing things for the Lord. Over the past few months, I’ve been absent. In this hiatus, my eyes were, well, opened. The days have been bright, but its radiance is no greater than the light shone in Paul’s eyes on his way to Damascus.
Recently, my dad and a few uncles in the Lord started up a men’s fellowship focusing on Biblical doctrine. I was asked to join, so I looked through the curriculum they had prepared. As I read through the review sections, the text beckoned,
“Who is Your Savior?”
I let that sink in a little bit.
As a Christian, we are to be Christ followers in all aspects of our life. As a follower, a leader is needed. To follow, reverent submission is needed. A verse given was this,
For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.
- Colossians 1:16-17 (NIV)
This text refers to Jesus. He is my Savior. The second person of the Godhead three of the triune God that has redeemed me, passing me over from death to life, making me a new creation, having chosen me to be a part of his people, royal priesthood, holy nation, and exclusively belonging to Him.
I don’t know how else to put it, brothers, sisters, uncles, and aunties. A goal of my writing is to keep readers reading and to be engaging. For some reason, I feel like I’m missing the mark a bit. I will finish.
A question that I’ve been posing to the Friday Youth Bible study is this,
“What does Christ mean to you?”
Is he just a guy you hear about every week? Is he just a subject that your pastor talks about every week? Is he just a “word” you hear about in your youth group while you “fellowship” with your friends? Is he the most used “word” amongst your church folk? Is he that guy in that one Christian movie? Is he just a filler “word” used in praise and worship songs? Is he just a “word” you end your prayers in? Is he just a “word” that you use expletively every day?
Or, is he the one you follow? Is he the one you put your faith in?
“…I had last night.”
Ah, well, not really. Unfortunately, I do not possess the ability to retain what goes on in my head when I am in my bed, snoring, and drooling a couple gallons of saliva on my pillow.
It is, however, the opening line to a song by Switchfoot that has been on my mind for a while now. Jon Foreman’s lyrics are, I would say, enigmatically enticing. They invoke curiosity. Another line, which occurs only once near the end of the song (and after a line that is heavily repeated throughout), got me thinking a little bit.
After “What Direction?” is echoed twenty-three times, a loud wail is let out.
“Life begins at the intersection.”
Fellows, no way am I implying that I am “going a different direction.” In fact, His Way has been made ever more clear. This hiatus has been something else. To be honest, when I visited the WordPress homepage, a spark flowed from my mind and sent a little tingle down my fingertips.
At last Friday’s Youth Bible Study, something that was shared was,
“Yes, love is Christ’s sacrifice. Love is God’s gift of mercy and grace. Love is also reminding your brothers of that sacrifice.”
That spoke to me.
Brothers and sisters,
Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” (John 14:6 NIV)
I caught a smidgen of peace.
I opened my window the other day. It’s something that I seldom do during the Winter. The breeze pushe me back inside. The rain pounds on the door, nailing it shut. The sun was shining, however, and Spring was beckoning me away from my books and toward the locks on the window. After fiddling with the latches, I pushed the window up. It was so quiet.
I slowly backed away from the window, careful as to not perturb this rare placidity of events. Attentively facing my window, I climbed on top of my bed and continued to back up until stopped by the wall. It was still there. I felt compelled to hold my breath for a few moments. It was too peaceful.
A warm, gentle breeze was blowing outside. It was such a contrast to the hot air that my computer produced and pushed around in my room. Without my eyes leaving the glass, I slipped a pillow behind my back. The breeze still whispered outside the glass. Slowly, I closed my eyes. Then, I heard it.
There was a small wooden chime to the left of my window. I heard the hollow tubes slightly rap against each other. Lightly they tapped their surfaces together, whirling about. The faint clunks rang through the walls of my room. I let out a sigh. I was almost there.
Well folks, needless to say–but, somehow still said, I’ll be back soon. After this day is done, I’ll be free for 10 whole days. I’ve got one more black op to execute before I am discharged. At 20:00 hours (PST), it will begin. At 22:00 hours (PST), it will end.
Target: Managerial Accounting
Objective: Execute “OPERATION: FINAL EXAM”
MANTRA: Psalm 121
I wish these lenses weren’t so scratched up.
Here’s to the Lord who rang the wooden chimes.
Oh, it’s on.
Honestly, I don’t think I’m that busy. Time, though, does seem to escape from me fairly easily. Also, some of my friends have told me that my schedule doesn’t leave much room for “downtime.” In order to reconcile these arguments, I’ve decided to list down all of the things that I’d do in a week. It’s a one week duration because different activities occur each day. The scope of one week is a more efficient way to determine my busy-ness. The rigors of school have turned me into an “outliner.” Activities have been separated by day and the outline ends with miscellaneous weekly activities.
Yeesh. Did I really just do this?
According to the data, weekly things that occur are:
- Church
- Guitar Session
- Studying
- Quiet Time
- Classes
- Prayer Meeting
- Preparing for Friday Bible Study
- Friday Bible Study
- “Other Weekly Activities”
- “Books I Need to Finish”
The reason why I did this was because I wanted to see for myself what my schedule looked like. Aside from my class schedule and church, the rest was just in my mind. I’d say that a 7:1 activity-to-week ratio would be a manageable, balanced schedule between busy and not busy. According to this, I’m at 10:1. If anyone has another way to look at this, please recommend it. I’m still reluctant to recede from my denial.
Gee. When I wrote this thought of the day, I thought that I was just harmlessly comparing faith to fighting cavities.
Can't do something witty like Brutha Scriv 
According to a Phoenix-based research firm, 16% of Protestants say they would consider only one denomination, while 22% of them would use only one brand of toothpaste and 19% would use just one brand of bathroom tissue.
Although this study by USA Today isn’t necessarily dangerous and doesn’t present anything new (because, well, let’s face it: America is a consumer-driven society), it’s not without a c0mment from myself.
[Ron Sellers] said the statistics demonstrate that some of the age-old rivalries between Protestant denominations have simply dissolved [...] “Those distinctions, which seemed so important as the various Protestant churches were identifying and evolving … are really not that important to the average churchgoer in the United States.”
Herein lies the the trouble. For me, personally, the only thing that really matters is the Bible. As long as you stick to God’s word, you and I won’t have much problems. Also, I’m not a proponent of division. It would be nice if we could all unite in our faith in God’s grace. The trouble is that, although distinctions are dropping, it is an indication that perhaps churchgoers are the ones becoming more complacent and lost. Mr. Churchgoer, if you’re not convicted to sit in those pews and listen to the message through the speaker that God has appointed, then something more than a denominational search needs to be conducted in your life.
Read God’s word and remember who died so that you could even have the opportunity to know life.
Since the beginning of my college experience, I became heavy on the war metaphors. If you’ve read my blog posts pre and post exams, they’re somewhat hectic. The lead is flying. Shrapnel sears through the air. For hours, the only things that fill the air are the smell of burnt rubber and the incessant gunfire from the Ticonderoga. Not that I’m a monger of any sort; I’m no steel helmet wearing, bazooka wielding instrument of chaos. Although, Team Fortress 2 is a fun game.
However, on the eve of battle I find myself in a difficult position. Here, I sit. I question, “Is it peace or nonchalance?” I’m very much accustomed to my heart being set to a jackhammering pace and it seems like something has been switched off. I often use it as a gauge. If my mind isn’t ready to burst by exam time, then I categorize it as nonchalance. This is the part of my dichotomy I don’t want to be in.
But does preparedness entail peace? In this case, it does. I’ve run out of material to study. I usually plan my study schedule so that the day before an exam, I am free from that subject. All I can do now is just sit. I’ve studied. I’ve prayed.
Against the thunder and lightning, I point my umbrella up (Rom. 8:28, Philippians 4:6-7)
Ummm, yeah... about that...
This leaves a pretty sour taste in my mouth. Not to be indecent, but I was on the toilet reading this article on my iPhone. You already know there was a whole lot of stank in there and this article almost made it unbearable. Just like Israel put their fists to God’s face saying, “We want a king!” (1 Sam. 8), the Vatican did something pretty odious here.
They just sold out.
According to the Times Online:
The Vatican has admitted that Charles Darwin was on the right track when he claimed that Man descended from apes.
I’ve posed this question before, but for the Vatican I’ll bring it up again: “So, you’re saying that Jesus Christ, my Savior, who healed the lame, gave sight to the blind, revived the dead, and died for my sins is a completely natural product of evolution?”
Again, that’s a no-go chief.
Conceding that the Church had been hostile to Darwin because his theory appeared to conflict with the account of creation in Genesis, Archbishop Ravasi argued yesterday that biological evolution and the Christian view of Creation were complementary.
Ravasi wasn’t arguing the creation of man by God, but how he got here. One thing I can say to Ravasi is that, Biblically speaking, you’ve got to be on the right track. The right track is adhering to God’s Word, not trailblazing with observations made of the world. The moment you shirk God’s Word and sola scriptura for Darwin’s Voyage of the Beagle, we’ve got problems. I’ve got to call foul. Blood has been shed. It’s not yours or mine, nor apes’ or monkeys’.
Well, just as the title says. Sorry that it took so long, guys. Scroll to the bottom for part 2!
Being a student blogger nearing his upper division portion of his academic career is proving to be difficult. Midterms are robbing me of my self. They’ve pulled the sink plug and my brain cells are spiralling down the pipes. Ah, school: the delight, it is.
Going into the midterms, I was expecting good grades. By good, I mean that I want A’s. For the past year and a half, I haven’t really settled for anything less. I wanted to be ahead of the curve so bad. But this time, the curve cushioned my tushie from the drastic drop.
Technically, I got a solid C on my Business Law midterm. But, due to the curve, I got a B+. I felt really unworthy of it, but I got it. Bob wasn’t as lenient and the class didn’t receive a curve. I got a solid 75% and, to my surprise, the class average was very much below that. I was relieved even though my standards weren’t met. One should always remember, God is good all the time. To God the glory, desired outcome or not.
Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.– Habakkuk 3:17-18 NIV
I deserved my grades. I’m not saying that now, lamenting the red marks on my papers. No, I really did deserve them. Certain aspects of my study habits need to be magnified whereas others need to be toned down. I don’t want to be caught with my muzzle in the grill again. But, here’s the point.
Even though God is on my side, everything in this life won’t always be good. There will be trials even for his servants. But, we’re not to focus on that. When things go horribly wrong, the circumstances are not grounds to lose faith in God. As was said in Lee Strobel’s “The Case for Faith,” it is similar to reading a book halfway, closing it, and blaming the author that he didn’t finish the book. That was a striking comment from one of his interviewees. That’s tough.
Another thing: I’m not saying to rely on God fully. I’m not talking about faith, which we should be full of. God uses people for his glory and, if need be, he’ll do it himself. He has equipped us with the abilities to overcome these things ourselves in faith of his provisions. To turn in a blank scantron with no bubbled-in answers and saying to yourself “I deserve an A because God is good” probably won’t get you an A. By living it out and performing by faith will God be glorified.
Ultimately, I’m happy with my grades. I never knew I could be so elated about grades below my expectations. I was skipping to my car last night. It’s not like anyone saw, though. It was around 10 p.m. Nice and dark, leaving me free to frolic through the open parking lot. Hehe.
